cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Redeem this text for a blowjob
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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