wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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