as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Discovered the coffee filter hasn't been changed in a while. I believe the mold has hypnotic properties. Would try it again, but coffee vomit is not pleasant.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Randomize
