I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
