my sisters under your porch take her home
this boner is exhausting
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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