Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
