why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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