I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
