I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
