Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Randomize