dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Don't take advice from me. I'm simultaneously shitting and eating cheesecake.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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