Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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