don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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