i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Randomize
