I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize