I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Randomize
