smell my finger.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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