Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
don't judge my taste in strippers
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Randomize
