People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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