There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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