sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
