didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
