I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Randomize
