Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
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