Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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