ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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