I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I woke up and found my apartment really clean, appearantly drunk me couldn't tolerate living there anymore and left sober me a lot of insulting post-its...
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