operation have a gay friend backfired
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
