you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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