DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
as a side note pls kill me
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
