sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
LEAVE ME AND MY NIPPLES ALONE
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
