I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
