It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
