I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Randomize
