You were pretty fucked up... decided playing hopscotch down the stairs was an excellent idea.. it was extremely entertaining
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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