Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
