Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
