nut hugger
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize