I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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