I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
Randomize
