i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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