Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Going to the eye doctors drunk makes you feel like your doing a sobriety test! They have to know..
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