I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
Randomize
