Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
