Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Boobs are out for the taking
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
How I know I've been single too long: I'm reveling in finding out my taken friends are being tragically dumped
Randomize
