In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
