I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
