I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dicks are not precious.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
