I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
