So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Randomize