he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize