Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
