I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize