He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Randomize