chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
