what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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