Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
It's Friday. Sex?
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
