i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
last night I used snow as a chaser
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