standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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