I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
You looked at my sister and yelled at her saying in a couple of years she will be yours
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
Randomize
