Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
my liver is dry heaving
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
